Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
