if i can run in heels then i can drive
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
