I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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