dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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