I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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