Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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