Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
