Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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