Non-Jews are for practice
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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