420 ftw
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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