Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012

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(310): View more from California

A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

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(407): View more from Florida

shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him

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(904): View more from Florida

the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

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(310): View more from California

Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.

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(408): View more from California

YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

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(224): View more from Illinois

Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.

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