it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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