its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
