similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
