he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
