In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
