i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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