Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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