Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
high people should be assigned attendants
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
porn star boner night. come get it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
