doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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