That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize