The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
