you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
