All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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