So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize