On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Randomize
