you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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