dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
