So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
