i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
