This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
