I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
