Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
