Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
