so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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