worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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