I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm passing your future prison.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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