Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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