there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
