the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
