I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
