Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
