Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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