he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
