i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
