Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
