your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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