I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
