My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
