dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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