I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
