I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
