I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
