We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
