The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
