I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
