Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
