We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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