Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize